I have been working over the past few days on some coloring sheets for those of us looking for things to do. Whether its to cure boredom, break up the monotony, or soothe your anxious heart… I hope you enjoy these coloring sheets, and be sure to tag us so we can see the finished product!
enjoy these podcast recommendations to help you feel more connected in a time of social distance.
In the wake of the global pandemic and the anxiety accompanying it, I started to feel restless. Not physically, but emotionally. I wanted to have something to do, some way to help. I wanted to figure out something to offer that helped me feel less helpless and more connected. So, I went to my Instagram stories and asked for recommendations for various forms of entertainment. Up first on that list…podcasts.
Now me, I love a podcast. It feels like I am hanging out with people even on a regular day, but add in social distancing and being quarantined in the house with my kids for 3 weeks… it is an instant lift to my spirits and makes me feel less alone. I posted a bunch of your suggestions along with their links and descriptions so you can see which ones sound like you and which ones don’t. I marked the ones that I personally love with an asterisk and I also linked to The Crybaby Podcast at the bottom. I plan on trying to do more episodes for you guys during this isolation period. Also, be sure to follow us on Instagram; I am planning to do daily livestream check ins to help us all feel more connected.
If you have a podcast or listen to one that you cant get enough of, please leave it and a small description of it in the comments. We are all in this together after all, let’s help and do what we can.
Ologies with Alie Ward
100+ episodes | Spotify | Apple Podcasts
Volcanoes. Trees. Drunk butterflies. Mars missions. Slug sex. Death. Beauty standards. Anxiety busters. Beer science. Bee drama. Take away a pocket full of science knowledge and charming, bizarre stories about what fuels these professional -ologists’ obsessions. Humorist and science correspondent Alie Ward asks smart people stupid questions and the answers might change your life.
100+ episodes | Spotify | Apple Podcasts
Hi, I’m Dax Shepard, and I love talking to people. I am endlessly fascinated by the messiness of being human, and I find people who are vulnerable and honest about their struggles and shortcomings to be incredibly sexy. I invite you to join me as I explore other people’s stories. We will celebrate, above all, the challenges and setbacks that ultimately lead to growth and betterment.
WTF with Marc Maron
1000+ episodes | Spotify | Apple Podcasts
Marc Maron welcomes comedians, actors, directors, writers, authors, musicians and folks from all walks of life to his home for amazingly revealing conversations. Marc’s probing, comprehensive interview style allows guests to express themselves in ways listeners have never heard.
25 episodes | Spotify | Apple Podcasts
The Moth has presented thousands of true stories, told live and without notes, to standing-room-only crowds worldwide. Moth storytellers stand alone, under a spotlight, with only a microphone and a roomful of strangers. The storyteller and the audience embark on a high-wire act of shared experience which is both terrifying and exhilarating. Since 2008, The Moth podcast has featured many of our favorite stories told live on Moth stages around the country.
50+ episodes | Spotify | Apple Podcasts
Comedy podcasts are the best, but it’s not easy to find clean comedy podcasts that are actually FUNNY! Welcome to the Spitballers Podcast with the award-winning trio of Andy, Mike, and Jason. These three dads will make you laugh as they discuss ridiculous topics, answer life’s most difficult questions, and dish out life advice that you should never, ever take. We all need a little nonsense in our everyday lives.
The Last Podcast on the Left *
400+ episodes | Spotify
The Last Podcast On The Left covers all the horrors our world has to offer both imagined and real, from demons and slashers to cults and serial killers, The Last Podcast is guaranteed to satisfy your blood lust.
My Favorite Murder *
300+ episodes | Spotify | Apple Podcasts
Lifelong fans of true crime stories Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark tell each other their favorite tales of murder and hear hometown crime stories from friends and fans.
100+ episodes | Spotify | Apple Podcasts
Lore is a bi-weekly podcast (as well as a TV show and book series) about dark historical tales. Each episode explores the mysterious creatures, tragic events, and unusual places that fill the pages of history. Because sometimes the truth is more frightening than fiction.
A Beautiful Mess
22 episodes | Spotify | Apple Podcasts
Elsie + Emma are sisters and co-founders of the top DIY blog — A Beautiful Mess. They have written over seven thousand blog posts, so it seemed like a good time to start a podcast! The sisters have a lot to say on everything from home and DIY to family life and business.
The Papaya Podcast
41 episodes | Spotify | Apple Podcasts
The Papaya Podcast is a weekly show where your host, Sarah Nicole, dishes out some sweetness mixed in with some seeds of wisdom. Get ready to get inspired, get candid, and get real, because we are all in this digital space together.
Therapy for Black Girls
100+ episodes | Spotify | Apple Podcasts
The Therapy for Black Girls Podcast is a weekly chat about all things mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. Join your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed Psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, as she offers practical tips and strategies to improve your mental health, discusses the latest news and trends in mental health, pulls back the curtain on what happens in therapy sessions, and answers your listener questions.
Sleep With Me
300 episodes | Spotify | Apple Podcasts
Insomnia? Mind racing at night? Worries keeping you up? Tune in for a bedtime story that lets you forget your problems and progressively gets more boring until you fall to sleep. So get in bed, press play, close your eyes, and drift off into dreamland.
Like You **Family Friendly**
13 episodes | Spotify | Apple Podcasts
Like You is a mindfulness podcast for kids, exploring feelings & encouraging self-esteem through imagination-based exercises. Subscribe to get a new episode every Tuesday. We created the podcast with kids in mind, but we welcome listeners of any age group, including parents, grandparents, or grown-ups who just want to get more in touch with themselves and their inner-child.
You, Me, Empathy
100+ episodes | Spotify | Apple Podcasts
YOU, ME, EMPATHY, created and hosted by Non Wels, is a podcast about exploring the struggles we face in our day to day lives as humans trying to get by on this wondrous and overwhelming pale blue dot. (side note, I am the guest on episode 88 🙂
TL;DR Fill out this form and I will send you a Valentine
Alexa, play One Thing by One Direction
Happy February, crybabies and if you are familiar with our antics,
you know that the start of February means it is time for the Be My Valentine mail exchange! For the past 4 years, I have been sending out Happy Heart Mail to you guys and I love it so much, and this year will be no different. Whether you are single, taken, a loner, a loser, a complicated wreck or you just like mail…I want to be your Valentine.
Just so you know, there is no cost to participate in this, it is COMPLETELY FREE
but if you would like to donate a few dollars (if you are able to) you can Paypal me
and it will be VERY much appreciated.
ANYWAY LET’S GET TO THE FUN STUFF!
Please fill out this short form
It will help me get to know you a little better + its just fun.
BE MY VALENTINE SIGN UPS WILL BE OPEN
ALL WEEK LONG February 3 – February 7.
LEAVE A COMMENT ON THIS POST FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A FREE COPY
OF MY NEW POETRY BOOK WHERE DOES THE DARK LIVE
I never planned to write a book. I never plan for anything, let’s be honest. I just go about and do things and see how they begin to unfold. If they start to seem like a bad decision, I toss them to the side, but if I get enough encouragement and steam going behind an idea, I see it through. I am not sure when this became part of my reality, but here we are. I wrote a book.
Where Does the Dark Live was inspired by my life, my struggles, my wins, and my losses. I cultivated this small collection of poems for over 5 years. For five years, they sat, burning a hole in my mind. I wanted to use them, but for what? Publish them? But how?
I managed to figure it out and now I want to give you the chance to win a copy.
If you leave a comment on our blog post and follow our blog, you will be automatically entered to win a free copy of Where Does the Dark Live!
This book is my little baby, it is a soft pink cover and has a lot of feelings inside, just like me. 🙂 I do hope you’ll enter, I put some of the poems here so you can see what you are in store for.
Which one is your favorite?
I was always a small girl. I weighed 98 lbs up until my freshman year of college when I gained the “freshman fifteen.” My god, I felt enormous. My whole life I had had nicknames like tiny, adorable, little girl, skinny mini, string bean, etc. The list goes on. My tiny frame felt like it held my identity and when the pounds began to pile on, I lost it. Then I had babies and I have to say, while being pregnant and a literal house for another human was magical…it was also awful. The number on the scale climbed higher than I had ever seen, but I was young and I had always been small, so I figured after I got these babies out, I would just shrink back down like I always had after eating big meals.
This was not the case. I had to WORK to get small. THE AUDACITY. I never in my life had to work for that. I had to work for money, friendships, relationships, and my mental health…but my body? Oh no no no, not happening. I was bitter about it.
My weight went up and down throughout the next few years. At one of my heavier times, people started to comment about my weight. A family member even TOUCHED MY STOMACH and asked if I had any news to share. Another person made comments about how earlier in the year (when I was in a skinny period) I was the skinniest I had ever been and he loved that. I was 120 lbs. but I was only thin because I was too sad to eat. Too stressed to move. Too depressed to care. I was a bad mother, a bad friend and a sad person at this time in my life. I had nothing going on, nothing I was working toward, nothing to be proud of and I wasn’t taking care of myself…
BUT I WAS THIN.
Until those moments, I had never been called fat before. I had never had an outside source make comments on my body except to tell me how small I was. This was new territory and my head did not do well with it.
But then, I started to think about what caused this most recent weight gain. I stood and looked back at the time I was in and realized that I was chubby because was because I was happy…
The Club had just launched, the fundraising, the pins coming in, the women pouring out their hearts to me, telling me that my art helped them and made them feel brave and strong. I started working my ass off for those women. For you. FOR ME. What I did for you, you did for me times 10. For the first time in a long time I felt valued and worthy, like I was doing important work and most of all, I felt like I was swimming in love. I had love coming in from every side and I felt solid in it. This is when the weight started to pile on. I was busy, I was working hard at my craft, I was being a mom, I was being social, I was participating in events, I was taking my meds, I was celebrating success with dinner and drinks with friends, I felt like a person again…
BUT I WAS FAT.
HOW DARE I BE FAT?
So, I wanted to change it. Duh right? Why wouldn’t I? All these months I was just fluffy and happy and how dare I, so I took these pictures to show a “before.” They didn’t have the desired effect though.
LET ME EXPLAIN.
A before photo is intended to stand as a snapshot of all the work you have to do, the problem areas of your body. You are expected to see them and feel gross and flawed and think to yourself, “Damn, how did I get so disgusting? I have got to do something.” Not me, bro. These photos motivated me to love myself.
I looked at these pics and thought “I look really cute and sweet and sexy in these” and a few years ago, I wouldn’t have said the same. I didn’t see these pics and instantly become appalled at my own body. I didn’t see them and feel ashamed. I saw them, and then I came here, and decided to share them with you.I have had people say they wish they were my size, at my smallest and at my biggest, and I always tell them “no, I like your size” because I do and so should you.
The first pic is me sucking in and posed.
The second one is all my squish leftover from having kids AND 2 C SECTIONS in 1 year. Literally guys November 3, 2009 I had one C-Section, November 15, 2010 I had another. Of course my flipping body was going to change.
All I am trying to convey here is that you are beautiful, exactly as you are because you are more than a body. Your body is of course beautiful in all is squishy, curvy greatness too, but you’re more than that. You are a beautiful brain with ideas and thoughts, a beautiful heart filled with love and feelings, a beautiful person with hope and perseverance and tenacity and moxie running through you. You are more than a number on a scale or another person’s opinion on your body.
Your body is allowed to be different than what society thinks and tells you is “beautiful.” It is still beautiful and freaking powerful too.
Take a step back like I did and look at all you have, all you’ve done, all you’ve still to do and you will see all of the things that make you an incredibly badass human. That makes the weight of your skin, organs, muscles and god forbid fat seem so small doesn’t it?
I wanted to start putting some writing prompts here in case you..like me… get stumped sometimes and WANT SO BADLY TO WRITE but you just can’t figure out what.
I decided to use some of the prompts from my bud Kaitlyn’s 365 Days of Writing Prompts PDF. You can purchase that for yourself here. Support small business and give her a follow and look through her store.
- Write about holding someone’s hand.
- Write about dragons.
- Include this line, “I Can’t See”
- Describe the emotions of someone being buried alive.
- Do you believe in life after death? Explain.
I love Kaitlyn and if you have been here since CB’s beginning, you will remember her from being one of the first members and the CB Blog Editor back in the day. We still hold her in our hearts here and we are so proud of her and all she has done since stepping down from the blog. She is still a friend, still helps when she can, and she recently got married and she and her partner started their own businesses! GO Kaitlyn! I guess I chose to write about you today, huh?
If you write a piece based on these prompts, please share them below! And please check out Kaitlyn’s shop and blog. ❤
“How did you manage not to lose yourself when you had your babies? How did you do it?”
My answer is complicated and multi faceted, but the TL;DR answer is… you do. You do lose yourself to a certain extent, but it is less of a loss and more of an exchange, really.
Of course, I can say this now because I am not neck deep in diapers, burping cloths, nipple cream and sleepless nights. I have the gift of perspective now that I am nearly 8 years out. However, my journey into motherhood was so jarring and abrupt that it left an impression, and it only takes a moment of seriously thinking of those early days to conjure all of it up again along with every feeling attached to that season of life.
My body was a squishy mess that I didn’t recognize when I looked in the mirror, my boobs constantly hurt and no longer belonged to me, I never slept, I hardly showered, post partum depression piled on top of my ever present regular depression, there was immense pressure – both external and internal- to be the perfect mother and wife and it was crushing me.
Let’s stop and talk about the depression thing for a minute. First of all, I cried constantly, so there’s that. One night, in a panic, I realized deep in my soul that I just could not do this. I. Could. Not. Do. It. So, I did super a rational thing…I called my friends and family and with the utmost sincerity, I tearfully asked them to adopt my children. I cried when they said no. Then, when I realized how insane that was, how much I loved my babies, how I would never let Courtney and Ashley adopt them…cried because of how horrible of a mother I was. Post partum was rough guys, not to mention, my friends dropped like flies once they realized that holding a crying baby wasn’t fun, let alone hanging out with the crying mom holding the crying baby. Yikes. So on top of everything else, I was extremely lonely. Like, cry-in-the-shower-clutching-your-knees-to-your-chest and asking-yourself-out-loud “why doesn’t anyone like me” -lonely. As if i needed any more help finding reasons to cry at this point in my life.
I remember these days like they were yesterday. Did I lose myself? Absolutely. Did I lose myself? Absolutely not. I was afraid that I would though, so you aren’t alone there. I was so afraid that I would never have friends again, that the place that I was at that moment was going to be the place I always was. I would never paint again, I would never go to school and get my degree, I would never get the time to fall in love with being a wife to my new husband, I would never get to put myself first ever again, and I would always smell like diaper cream. These were legitimate fears that circled in my head during the first years, if not longer.
My kids are 8 and 9 now and if I could go back in time and sit next to the blubbering blob I once thought myself to be, I would be so kind to her. This is what I would tell her:
Hey there sweet mama, I know your pain and I know it well. This phase ends and you come out the other side. Different than you were before, yes, but better in my opinion. You will paint again, you will fall in love and figure things out with being married, you will make a lot of mistakes but none of them make you a bad person or a bad mom. You will find times that you can put yourself first and restructure your priorities, find new hobbies and gain new, fantastic friendships that make all of this pain worth bearing. All of these sleepless nights end, their tiny feet grow big and smelly, your waist shrinks again, but even if it didn’t you are still gorgeous. You are, even if you don’t feel like it, gorgeous and powerful. You are way cooler of a person now. You learned and grew, you found humor in the heartaches, you found lessons in the loneliness. You know your worth now more than you ever have before, you know what you are capable of, you know what you bring to the table, and it is a feast. AND now you know how to swaddle a baby in less than 15 seconds. You became a stronger woman as most women do when they are faced with challenges. They did not defeat you, you found your way. Did you lose who you were? Yes, pieces of yourself stay behind, but you bring more forward with you as you continue to stay alive every day. It all evens out. The days are so long, but the years are short, and those babies won’t be in your arms forever. Try your best to enjoy where you are and do not worry about losing yourself, you will and you won’t. You will be amazing no matter what.
I read somewhere once that you should prepare to be married to 6 different people in the span of a marriage. So, how many people will we all be and become in a lifetime? My advice there? Prepare for change. It is coming, it is always coming. It is not always pleasant, but you will see it through. I personally, cannot wait to meet the rest of the people I will become. Good or bad, I am excited to embrace her each time with a fresh excitement and a heart full of memories and pieces I may leave behind. Moving forward is a gift I am happy to receive.
Also, in case you are wondering, I now smell like rose water.
Last but not least, my mama friend Autumn is selling a collaborative design (by me) in her shop Matriarch Handmade and if you’d like to buy one and help support two working mamas, DM her on Instagram or email me and let me know and I will get it going for you. See shirt below 🙂
So, let’s talk Patreon.
Last fall, I was laid off from my day job, which I consider a blessing in disguise and I began doing Crybaby full time. In doing so, it not only became my main focus and job, but it became how I pay my bills.
Running a small business seems fun and it definitely is, but it is also hard, hard work. Aside from what you see, there are a million things you don’t see me doing. As far as Crybaby is concerned, I am the sole face and human behind CB. I design nearly everything you see in the shop, I create all the content you see on social media, I manage and maintain the website and blog, I fulfill the orders, I print out the shipping labels, I package each order with care and special touches (ex. confetti, extra goodies, special packaging materials such as the pretty pink bubble mailers they come in, etc.), and then, I take them to the post office so they can get to you. I test out new products, I pay to produce those new products, I draft blogs, I work on the My Anxious Nights project, I keep up with inventory and restock as needed, I offer wholesale nationally and have 10+ stockists right now that I keep up and correspond with, I am the voice behind every email, I connect with local and non local venues to set up pop ups and collaborations, I photograph everything, I edit everything, I literally do everything.
Aside from Crybaby, I freelance my design skills to other businesses, I sell some of my gently used clothes online, AND I have two tiny humans I am in charge of raising and loving.
So why did I choose to start a Patreon? Well, quite frankly, because of everything I just mentioned. Because I work really hard and if I had more people investing in what I do and make, I could do better and make more. Because I love that this is my job and would like for it to always be. And finally, because I believe that my work has value and meaning. I offer perks to people who donate certain amounts, they’re pretty great and I think you will love them too. Even if you donated $1 a month that means the world to me. Again, I believe in what I am doing and for the goals I have as a company and as a person, if you do too, please check out my Patreon and consider donating. I appreciate it with a full heart.
Hi there my loves, it has been a while.
I keep trying to make this blog one of the top priorities,
but I have been drawing so much that it has taken up most of my time!
However, “why not combine them” I thought to myself earlier today!
So here are some free wallpapers for your phones!
Make sure to TAG US on instagram @thecrybabyclub_
so I can see them in action!
These are two of my latest designs and also two of my (maybe all time) favorites!
Which one is your favorite?
Tell us below in the comments!